StarTrek-Gedichte

[Locksley]

Hallo allerseits,


abgesehen von der fantastischen Ode an Spot, die ja schon an anderer Stelle im Forum gepostet ist, gibt es fuer mich noch zwei grossartige Gedichte, die einen Bezug zu Star Trek haben. Beide sind im Stil von Dr. Seuss (Cat in the Hat, vielleicht kennt Ihr das) gehalten, und beide sind sehr witzig.

Ich wuerde Euch alle aufrufen, Gedichte zu posten, die einen Zusammenhang zu Star Trek haben, witzig sind , Euch beruehren , Euch gefallen , ev in einer Episode vorkommen usw.


Meine beiden Favoriten Gedichte kommen in den naechsten beiden Posts - ich hoffe, das ist keine Postschinderei, ich mache das aus Gruenden der Lesbarkeit.

@mod: Bitte verschieben, falls falsches Forum...


Ich freue mich sehr auf Eure Gedichte und Eure Rekationen,
Locksely

[Locksley]

Dr. Seuss does Classic Star Trek

Mein Favorit - das TOS-Gedicht


Viel Spass!


Von Kenneth A. Lower

Uhura:
Captain, Captain, I've received a call
The Klingons are attacking one and all.
Things are wrong, they are not fine
We're to proceed at once to Indri-9.

Kirk:
It seems a war they are inducing
Does Indri have women for my seducing?

Spock:
Indri's a planet of class M
Males and females from it do stem.

Kirk:
Chekov, you lay in the course
Sulu, factor 9, of course.

Scotty:
Captain, I can not recommend it
If you break the engine, I can not mend it!

Kirk:
Mr. Scott, of course you can
When stuff is broken, you're our man!

Scotty:
I guess you're right, my Captain Kirker
that's why they call me "Miracle Worker."

Sulu:
Here we go, we're on our way
once again, we'll save the day.

Chekov:
The Keptin vill handle these problems major
Inspired by some Russian hero, I'll wager.

Uhura:
Captain, Starfleet's calling again
we will arrive at Indri, when?

Kirk:
Spock, you do your computations
I'm not that good at estimations.

Spock:
7 hours, 23 minutes, 6 seconds, is the time
before we arrive at Indri-9.

McCoy:
Mr. Spock, you damn machine
can't you keep your numbers lean?

Spock:
My numbers are quite logical
no need to become hysterical.

Kirk:
Gentlemen, gentlemen, if you will
save this fight for later still.
Scotty, can we get there faster?
I want to kill some Klingon bastard.

Scotty:
I've poured all the power I can pour
She will not, can not, take no more!

* COMMERCIAL BREAK, STUFF TO PAWN
GUESS IT'S TIME TO HIT THE JOHN *

Sulu:
Approaching Indri Captain Kirk
Klingons in orbit, they do lurk!

Kirk:
A standard orbit will be just fine
'til we discover what's on their mind.
Hale the vessel, if you please
Let me talk to this Klingon sleaze.

Uhura:
Channel open, Captain Kirk!

Kirk:
What's your business here, you jerk?

Klingon:
My business is just that, it's mine
if you want a fight, that's fine!

Kirk:
Mr. Sulu, raise the shields
it seems this bastard will not yield.

Sulu:
Shields are up, phasers fine

Kirk:
We must protect this Indri-9!

* THINGS ARE TENSE, NEVER MEANER
TIME TO SELL SOME WINDOW CLEANER *

Sulu:
Captain, Captain, they are firing
Our shields they are already tiring!

Kirk:
Pump more power in 'em Scott!
Sulu, FIRE, I mean a lot!

Chekov:
Ve got him, sir! They're pulling avay!
Being Russian sure does pay!

Kirk:
Not so fast, we do not know
what has happened down below!
McCoy and Spock, you're with me
I feel we must beam down and see.

McCoy:
There is a chance we will be tattered
and I don't want my atoms scattered!

Kirk:
Bones, it is not open for debate
grab your med-kit, don't be late.

Kirk:
Who's the newbie in the shirt of red?
I hope he will not end up dead.

Redshirt:
It's me, it's me, Ensign Deek!
Out of the Academy just last week!

Kirk:
All right Scotty, beam us down
put us in the middle of a town.

Scotty:
Aye sir, aye sir, right away
hope the transporter don't give way!

Kirk:
Now we are in a foreign land
Mr. Spock, please do a scan.

Spock:
Readings indicate something keen
a power source I've never seen.

Redshirt:
Arrrrgggghhhh! A beam has hit my head!

McCoy:
Jim, I'm sorry, he is dead.

* TIME FOR US TO SELL MORE STUFF
WE PLAN THIS FOR WHEN THINGS ARE ROUGH *

Kirk:
Can't you bring him back to life?
We need him in the impending strife!

McCoy:
There's nothing I can do here, Jim
except to notify next of kin.

Spock:
I must suggest that we seek cover
before that beam strikes us, one or other.

Kirk:
Good idea, my Vulcan friend
that beam our flesh it seems will rend.
I see a castle, perhaps a lair
but there's a canyon between here and there

McCoy:
Damnit, Jim, what should I do?
I'm a Doctor, not a kangaroo!

Spock:
I think the puzzle I can solve
with a little logic and resolve.
If I modify my phaser beam
the other side will soon be seen.
We'll simply walk to the other ridge
using the phaser beam as a bridge.

McCoy:
Spock you damn green-blooded geek
if it fails, we'll fall a week!

Spock:
I'm half human, as you're fond to say . . .

Kirk:
Gentlemen, gentlemen, let's be on our way.

* COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK
TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS, YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT *

Kirk:
There's a hundred Klingons, and they reek
to get in, we'll have to sneak.

Spock:
I will use my Vulcan mind
make them all feel weak and kind.
It should really be a cinch
if trouble strikes, I'll use my pinch.
My tricorder, it has found the power
the source is from that looming tower.

* AWAY FROM THE ACTION WE ARE TORN
TIME TO MAKE SOME POPPING CORN *

Kirk:
An ancient machine lies among the rubble
this must be the source of all our trouble.

Spock:
Yes, it has tremendous might
the Klingons for it, no doubt, would fight.

Kirk:
Spock, can you shut it down?
Remove the Klingon's motivation for being around?

Spock:
Easily enough, I'll just give a tug
to this thing that looks like a plug.

Kirk:
Reason to be here we now lack
Scotty, Scotty, beam us back.

* TIME TO FIT IN ONE MORE BREAK
ONLY MINUTES MORE THIS WILL TAKE *

Kirk:
I'm sure the lesson here is moral
about our nasty little struggle.

McCoy:
The human race is destined to excel
and we will, no doubt, do it well.

Spock:
You humans will, do doubt, succeed
but of we Vulcans you are in need.

McCoy:
We need you Vulcans, I should say
like a flashlight needs the day.

All:
A hearty laugh it starts to leak
we'll see you all right here next week.

[Locksley]

What If Dr. Seuss Wrote For Star Trek: The Next Generation?

I say give him problems dental!





von Pete Dussin (glaube ich)



Picard:
Sigma Indri, that's the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far?

Data:
Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We'll have two days til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?

Picard:
LaForge, please give us factor nine.

LaForge:
But, sir, the engines are offline!

Picard:
Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so!

Riker:
But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
The danger here is far too great!

Picard:
But surely we must not be late!

Troi:
I'm sensing anger and great ire.

Computer:
Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!

Picard:
The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?

Riker:
Not me.

Worf:
Not me.

Picard:
Computer, how long til we die?

Computer:
Eight minutes left to say goodbye.

Data:
May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems...

LaForge:
Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!
Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!

Picard:
Mr. Data, thank you much.
You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.

Troi:
We still must save the Indran planet --

Data:
Which (by the way) is made of granite...

Picard:
Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand -- we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.

LaForge:
There's sabotage among the wires
And that's what started all the fires.

Riker:
We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!

Troi:
We must seek out the traitor spy
And lock him up and ask him why?

Worf:
Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.

Troi:
Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they've been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
We haven't even heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?

Crusher:
Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"
I can't just sit and let them die!
A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!

Picard:
Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.

Crusher:
They may be dead by Tuesday noon.

* COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK
HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE? *

Worf:
The saboteur is in the brig.
He's very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun --
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall,
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form
All soft and purple, round and warm.

Picard:
Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?

Worf:
I did and then I beat him fairly.
Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.

Riker:
My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end!

Crusher:
Now let's get our ship to fly
And orbit yonder Indran sky!

Picard:
LaForge, please tell me we can go...?

LaForge:
Yes, sir, we can.

Picard:
Then make it so!